Wrestling with Holy Spirit is exhausting!

Wrestling with the Holy Spirit is exhausting. I know,,, i just finished a few rounds.
Whenever I cant fully grasp something about God's powerful love for me...I try to look at my own love for my children and then multiply in by infinity. For example, when I struggle with forgiveness, I think about how easy I can forgive my children .
Well, I just went through a huge wrestling match with God....and came out completely exhausted mentally and physically..... and came out it gratefully wrapped in the safety of his arms.
Trying to wrap my mind around the ordeal... I compare it to a possible situation with my 2 year old Nicolas.
I imagine being at a lake. The lake looks like a big swimming pool and full of ducks and fish. Its also full of snakes and alligators and potential drowning. Nicloas, with his foolish fasinatination wants to go swimming, feed the ducks, and catch fish. Being his mom, and him being my son who I love sooo much,, i cant let him go. So,, I scoop him up, hold him tight, and he throws a temter tantrum and fights with all his might. But, you see I am much stronger than him , so I can hold him until he gets tired and gives up. When he gives up and say " okay mommy,,, I wont go in the water" I let him go. After a few minutes he heads to the water. This cycle would continue until one of two things happened:

1) he would just get tired and fall asleep
or...
2) he would eventually make it to that water and get hurt or scared badly enough that he would never do it again.

Either way he will come out of the situation exhausted!

Thats what I feel like.... Only God let me so close to the water that it scared me. I saw reflections of my past and a potential future that terrified my soul. But am so grateful to come out not eaten by an alligator or bit by a snake and so so grateful to be in HIS safe arms. There is no better place.

God's love is amazing.