Keeping my guard up against Satan

One thing I've learned (the hard way), is that I alway have to keep my guard up against Satan. There is a real spiritual battle going on. I have to remember he's always trying to get in, he never stops. If he finds one little crack, its access for him.

When I became a Christian I didn't realize this at first. I thought I was following God, end of story. I didn't have my guard up, so he came in like a hurricane. I backslid, big time.

I was seperated from God for a couple months. It seems like it was years. I went back to a few old habbits. Completeley questioned every Godly thing in my life. I was completely misserable. During this short time, I became pregnant from a married man. Because of this embarrasement I almost (very almost ) turned from God completely.

For one thing I felt like I ruined my salvation. I felt forgiven for my past sins, but not this one because I knew him now. Secondly, I wasn't sure if I was not going to contunie a relationship with this man. Basically, I had to choose God or this man.

Thank God, that i chose God.

After I decided to choose God, I was still left with the fact that I'm pregnant ( with my fourth child and no husband ).

So, I start thinking of what to do. ( I haven't learned at this point to ask God to help, I thought it was only on my shoulders, which made it even harder ).

Well, abortion crossed my mind. I came very close. No one would have had to know about my sin. I wouldn't be embarressed at all. That's what Satan wanted me to do! Thank God, I didn't do it.

So, I almost left my church. I thought I could just go to a new church, no one would really know my story and I wouldn't be embarrased. Satan would have been satisfied with that. Thank God, I didn't do that.

The only thing I could do is face the music. I am so glad that I made that choice and I am even more glad that I am through that storm. I think it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life ( and my life hasn't been easy ).

Even though it was so hard, I think I grew so much with God. I learned a lot.

I learned humility. I had to be completely ashamed and embarrassed. I know what people thought of me and some still do. But, I knew God had forgiven me so I had to just walk with that.
I learned to be humble. I had to accept help from others and ask for help.
I learned the love of the body of my church. So many people gave help to me and showed me love straight from thier hearts.
I learned Gods forgiveness and grace and mercy.
I saw God's miracles and answered prayers.

I came out of this much stronger in my faith, more at home in my church family, and more aware of Satans tricks.

I am so in love with Jesus right now!
Satan is no match for him at all! But, I know I have to always keep my guarded, with no cracks for him to enter.

Back to Blogging!

Recently I deleted my myspace, my facebook, my orkut and my blogspot.
Being a single mom with four kids doesn't leave me much free time. I was finding myself using that time on the computer. Instead, I should have been spending time with God ( and my kids ).
Well, I'm glad about my decision for all of it except for blogspot. I really enjoy writing. It also provides me with the chance to share my walk with jesus, to acknowledge Gods blessings and answered prayers, and to record these things so they wont be forgotten. It's a way for me to see how God works in my life.
Also, I want to take notice of opportunies that God gives me, like people he puts in my path everyday.
I made a commitment to spend time with God every morning. I want to give him time before anyone or anything else.
Each day I will check myself : If I dont have time to give to God, then I wont allow myself time on the computer to blog. Hopefully, I'll be blogging everyday!