MY DAILY WALK....as a single mom

$$$$ PRICELESS $$$$

2011-07-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

Just a Day

2011-06-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

It was a usual evening. She was sitting on the couch watching TV. Her husband and a few guys were in the kitchen cooking crack, selling drugs, doing drugs, who knows. Her 4 year old daughter was in her room playing. Everything seemed calm for that moment, then there was a knock on the door.
Her husband looked out the peep hole, then opened the door letting two guys inside. She causualy glanced at who was entering the apartment and saw a familiar face. It was a childhood friend, someone she hasn't seen for years. Wanting to jump up and give him a great big smile and hug and catch up on old times, she quickly held in every emotion and responded with a nod and a quiet Hi. You see, her husband didnt react well in situations like this. He was extremely jealous of her, and watched her every move. Her husband quickly caught on to the fact that there was a familiarity between his aquaintance and his wife. She saw the look in his eyes. Her heart started racing, but she knew she had to remain calm. She tried to explain that they casually knew each other and that was all, but she knew her words were useless. She saw the look, she felt the tension, she knew what was coming next.
She never could understand why, but he was so jealous of her. She could not figure out how to control or avoid the situations that would trigger his rage. No matter how hard she tried, she could not turn his anger off once that something clicked inside him.
Everything began to look like slow motion. The friend was in the kitchen looking uneasy, puzzled about the tension in the air. Fear rushed through her body as her husband started slowly walking towards her. The next thing she knew she was knocked onto the floor. He started kicking her in the ribs, back, and everywhere. Nobody said or did anything to help her. After a few minutes of her getting beat , the friend did say " that's enough man". That just made it worse. She tried as always to hide her screams , because she doesn't want her daughter to hear or see. But eventually her daughter does come out of her room, to find her mom on the floor getting kicked and cursed at my her step dad. Her daughter jumps on top of her mom and begs him to stop. He does, but she knows its only temporary and that was just a sample of what was to come.
She is back on the couch, trying to avoid eye contact with the friend. Racing thoughts of panic and escape are going through her head. He wont make it easy though. She waits carefully for the right moment, and in a split second she grabs her daughter and flees out the door and down the two flights of stairs leading out of her apartment. Thank God there are a lot of people outside, he acts carefully in an unfamiliar crowd. She continued to run , out of the complex, down the road, to a near by shopping center.
She stopped running when she reached a payphone. She dialed 911, she knew the routine and didn't want to stay on the phone with them. So, she hung up, she knew they would come. The panic was already fading, and reality was setting in. She never has the strength to send him to jail. You see, she loves him, thats her husband, and she knows he loves her too. Nobody loves her as much as he does. He doesn't mean to do this, he just can't control it.
So there she is, sitting on the sidewalk in front of Winn Dixie. She is bruised and cut, wearing no shoes. Her daughter is beside her, in her pajamas, and no shoes. The police are on the way, but she starts thinking its better if she leaves before they get there. But leave where? She took nothing with her and she really has no where to go. Most friends that she had fear her husband so badly they wont help her. She has already ran to her family so many times only to go back to him, they are tired of her. Anyone else she can think of, she hides her situation from them, too embarresed to let them know.
Then she hears someone call her name. A childhood friend. He says, is that you? What happend? Come with me, you can at least be inside and figure this out.
She left with him , never found out if the police even came or not.
There she was in her friends apartment with her daughter. She confided in him. Told him what has been happening to her. She was in a save place for a moment. But she knew it was only a moment. He told her she was beautiful. He told her she didnt deserve that. He told her she was not safe. She knew these things, but she loved her husband. And, she believed that her husband love her as well. He would not be able to survive without her, this she believed. And she knew she could never love someone as much as she loves he. If she could go, where would she go anyway? She don't even have any shoes.
Hours passed, till morning. She knew it was time to go home. Her friend dropped her and her daughter back at Winn Dixie and she walked home. Terrified she walked home.
Her heart ached for her daughter. She didn't deserve this. She tried to make life happy for her and hide the ugly. But some things are just impossible.
Her husband was asleep when she arrived. So she laid on the couch with her daughter an they fell asleep too. But, eventually he woke up.
This was just a day. It was not the worse day. It was not the best day. It was just one day of her life, her life before she knew Jesus.

Mothers Day 2011

2011-05-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

I love Mother's Day. For me, it's a day of reflection. I am so thankful God chose ME and entrusted ME to me the mother of these four children. As always, God made a perfect match. They are perfect for me and I am perfect for them.
I have Julia. She is now 19 . I have drug this poor girl through my life. The good , the bad and the ugly. At times, really ugly. But, we managed. God had his hand on us....buffered things. She turned out to be a beautiful young lady, responsible, hard working, college girl. Although, she has kept the prophecy of my grandmother who said she is me exactly and we are going to bump heads alot. And the wish of my mom who said " I hope she pays you back for everything you did to me as a teenager". Well, sorry mom, she is not quite as bad as I was (but close).
I have Darius. He is now 13. He has a heart for God since he was a small boy. He has growed up in our church. He is a young man of God and takes that role seriously. He spends his time reading, he on the youth leadership team at church, evangleizes kids at school, listens to christian music, volunteers in the community, and has big goals and dreams. What more could I ask for?
I have AJ. He is 8 now. He is my sidekick. He loves being with me and his whole family. He is the sweetest child I have ever seen. He has a giving spirit that amazes me. He has grown up in the church his whole life. He loves Jesus...and knows nothing else. Unlike His older sister, he is priveledged not to have been drug the the bad times...Aj has had quite a peaceful life so far.
And then .....there is Nicolas. Nicolas is 3 now. I'm not quite sure how he made it this far. I already had my hands full with 3 children...how I manage 4...I dont know. I think Nicolas came out, looked around at his surroundings , and's figured out he gonna have to be a survivor : ). I also, think hes a superhero. He's got super smarts and super strength and super size. I'm not sure if i know how to be the mom of a super hero? I'm sure there's some books out there...if not maybe I'll write one.

I do have wonderful children. I often get complimented on them. But, I can not take all the credit. I am a single mother...I am very limited to what I can physcially do in thier lives. When I had Nicolas (number 4) I claimed the promise from God that says he will be the father to the fatherless. I claimed that. I also pray for my children, I pray that God will cover all my shortcomings as a mother. So, sometimes saying I'm a single mother of four just ain't the whole truth. My children have the best father imaginable!

..

Broken is Beautiful

2011-02-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

Laying in bed this morning, contemplating whether or not I was going to get up. I started thinking about being "Broken". I cant think of anything more beautiful right now than how beautiful it is to be broken by God.
When I started my christian walk, I had no idea whatsoever what it meant to broken. Not at all. Along the way, I read lots of books & blogs , did lots of bible studies, heard some testimonies. I started to grasp the concept a little, I got the basic idea of it. I think I was scared of it at first. I didnt want to be broken. I thought, I dont really have time. You see, I have four kids and I cant really afford to miss an unscheduled day of work. It seems if I got broken I would be out a few days. Acually I cant even afford to be broken at home, I cant imagine my house doing well with be be broken more than an hour or so. Thinking maybe I could just be broken in a tougher way so I dont have to really miss a beat? I dont know. Broken just didnt sound like something I needed or really had time for much.
Then I got broken....over and over and over and over!
....and WOW!
Im not quite sure exactly what God breaks in us. I imagine that there are about a million glass layers around my heart. Each one a different color and each one representing a different thing. Each one being broken one by one. And not in any specific order either. He might break 10 layers of glass under that top super strong thick layer.....and when that one goes thats a BIG BREAK!
Before never wanting to be broken,,,,now praying i will never ever come close to running out of layers to be broken. Because when God breaks something in us,,,,he doesnt just leave it broken and empty. He replaces it with something righteous and good. I imagine him turning those ugly glass layers around my heart into .... into... i have no idea really ....just something really beautiful and soft.
One of my favorite things is to see another woman broken. You can see it in her humility, you can see her awe for God beaming through her eyes, and you can feel the joy in her heart. You can feel because you've been there. You know she is feeling Gods passionate zealous love for her. She looks sooo beautiful because you know how beautiful she feels.

Wrestling with Holy Spirit is exhausting!

2011-02-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

Wrestling with the Holy Spirit is exhausting. I know,,, i just finished a few rounds.
Whenever I cant fully grasp something about God's powerful love for me...I try to look at my own love for my children and then multiply in by infinity. For example, when I struggle with forgiveness, I think about how easy I can forgive my children .
Well, I just went through a huge wrestling match with God....and came out completely exhausted mentally and physically..... and came out it gratefully wrapped in the safety of his arms.
Trying to wrap my mind around the ordeal... I compare it to a possible situation with my 2 year old Nicolas.
I imagine being at a lake. The lake looks like a big swimming pool and full of ducks and fish. Its also full of snakes and alligators and potential drowning. Nicloas, with his foolish fasinatination wants to go swimming, feed the ducks, and catch fish. Being his mom, and him being my son who I love sooo much,, i cant let him go. So,, I scoop him up, hold him tight, and he throws a temter tantrum and fights with all his might. But, you see I am much stronger than him , so I can hold him until he gets tired and gives up. When he gives up and say " okay mommy,,, I wont go in the water" I let him go. After a few minutes he heads to the water. This cycle would continue until one of two things happened:

1) he would just get tired and fall asleep
or...
2) he would eventually make it to that water and get hurt or scared badly enough that he would never do it again.

Either way he will come out of the situation exhausted!

Thats what I feel like.... Only God let me so close to the water that it scared me. I saw reflections of my past and a potential future that terrified my soul. But am so grateful to come out not eaten by an alligator or bit by a snake and so so grateful to be in HIS safe arms. There is no better place.

God's love is amazing.

I choose you, God!

2011-02-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

God said to me "I love you with a jealous zeal!". I said " then take it out, destroy this sin for me, because I can not". My God said "I'm just waiting for you, just CHOOSE ME".

Starting With......

2010-12-22T15:35:00.001-08:00

I'm starting my Spiritual & Physical comeback with a date with my one and only........Jesus!

I will be glad and rejoice in you, I will sing praise to your name, O most High. Psalm 9:2

One Year Later

2010-12-22T15:26:00.000-08:00

Wow.....It's been about a year since my last post. Again coming into a New Year. This year my resolution is the same as last year.....because last year I did not accomplish any of my goal. I feel like I just wrote the darn thing yesterday.
In 2010...i slacked off on my healthy eating, my excercise, blogging, god time, me time and family time. I lost my mom this year, worked a lot, and didnt get the new car i was hoping for. I served atchurch a lot , but mostly from an empty cup.
On the upside, i survived this year somehow. ( i know the some how )

For 2011...I hope to do more than just survive another year! I planning on making a comeback,,,physically & spiritually!

LOL....let's see : )

Strengthening My Foundation...Chapter 1

2010-01-03T03:52:00.000-08:00

1Corrinthians 3:11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

For this first month of the year, I'm going to focus on what exactly is my foundation. I know first and foremost that that my foundation must be Jesus! I will be studying and memorizing scriptures this month about this.

What should I build on my foundation of Jesus?
Gold and Silver?...I don't think so!

I have a busy schedule that I can't bear most days. Lately, I just choose the things from my "todo" list that just can't be put off another minute and forget the rest. It seems most of my joy has been robbed trying to just get through each day. I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS!

I have been thinking about the things I can do with out and what is important in my life.

For example,

I must:
work 50 hrs a week (not happy about this)
go to church for worship weekly

I think I NEED to:
clean my house
pay bills
accomplish errands
spend time with God
excercise
weekly bible study group (which requires prep)
my weekly coffee service ministry
keep contact with my existing friends/family
create new relationships
spend quality time with my children
have presence at my childrens schools

I would like to:
have a little time for myself

How in the world can I do it all??? What in the world could I leave out of this list??? I can't choose anything to leave out! Currently I am not giving enough of my self in any of these areas....everything and everyone is suffering.
This month, I am searching for answers. I'm asking God for strength to survive this life. Not just survive....but survive and glorify him. I want to do want he wants.
One thing He always reminds me, is that I am to serve Him wherever I am. I know I have a path to follow...and it's available for me....but it may be small and tucked away.

I will be praying about what are the importants in my life. Then, month by month, starting with the first...I will pray and pray on how it can fit successfully in my life.
I am reading my pastor's book....shaping your straight line. He made a reference to running on a hamster wheel. That's exactly what i have been doing. Running around and around.....and high speed.....and sometimes the wheel breaks and then I just stop.....until i fix the wheel...then i run in circles again...at best, sometimes I just have a bigger wheel.
I think it's time to stop...
This year I will be building my house.
Building it on the strongest foundation I can! I want to slow down my run to a walk and go up instead of around and around and around and down.

Strengthening My Foundation...my New Year's resolution

2009-12-29T03:56:00.001-08:00

It's almost 2010!
I always set these crazy New Year resolutions and never reach my goals. Well, this year is gonna be different! : )!
I have just one goal, "to strengthen my foundation".
Spiritually and Physically.....and Scripturally.

See, I am constantly adding more and more to my life and daily schedules. It really gets too much sometimes. Some things I plan on cutting back, but some things I cant ...It's just the way my life is and I have to press forward. But I know with out the proper "foundation" I cant succeed.
I need to have time with God, family time and prayer, health and excercise, friend and family time, building relationship time, nuturing existing friendships....etc. If I neglect all (or any) of this things, I will surely fail.
So, I'm going to focus each month on a different area in my life that I need to make stronger.
I don't have all the details planned out yet.
( Hey, maybe this can be a book when I'm finished......"Strengthen your foundation in one year"?? )
I will blog, twitter, facebook, pray, and study scriptures about what I am focusing on each month.

So, if this was a book.......this would be the introduction.

Coming soon...Chapter One

Strengthening My Foundation...my New Year's resolution

2009-12-29T03:56:00.000-08:00

Fringe benefits of giving

2009-10-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

As Christians we are called to give. To give freely...without expectations...as an act of worship.
This is why I give.
But, most of the time there are fringe benefits.
Sometimes its just a feel good feeling, the story of someone you helped, an unexpected blessing or just the thought of your blessing in heaven.

For me , it's the complete joy in being God's hands and feet. There is nothing I like more than the times I have something that someone else needs. My my neighbor needs one egg to finish her cake or a friend needs clothes for her child that mine just outgrew. Or I'm there to give a stranded person a jump, or have the ten dollars a friend needs to get by till payday. There are so many opportunities that God gives to be his hands and feet.....and I L O V E when I catch one.
Imagine the feeling when you find that perfect gift for a good friend, or the bday gift for your child that they have been dreaming about. The only pleasure and motivation for that gift is the how happy the reciever will be and how much love you have for them.

When I give, I feel like I'm giving a gift to God.

Isaiah 58 9:11
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday,
the LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strenghtn your frame.
you will be likea well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

*****Then your light will rise in the darkness*****

Sometimes I am so tired, just exhausted; feeling like I have nothing more to give.
Then I find refreshment in the thought of my light rising in the darkess.
I imagine God looking down and seeing my light shining bright.
And the ultimate fringe benefit I'm hoping for , is to walk through the gates of heaven and having God smile, give me a pat on the back, and say "good job little girl !"

What are your guidlines?

2009-10-15T03:07:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning, with having this on my mind all night.
We are doing a financial study at my church right now, and last night this question was asked...
What are your guidlines? I had a hard time finding the words at that moment to express what was on my mind.
See, we are talking about giving, which God always challenges me with.

I currently have this elaborate system that I've created where I give a set percentage of tythes, offerings, mission, benevolents, etc... it comes out first of all my monies, its routine and set. Anything I have after that is MINE and I realized that I am somewhat putting God in a box with the access to HIS money that I am managing for him.

I've heard stories of how some people flip this idea by choosing to live with a certain about of money and ALL the rest going to God. I love this idea. Some people are millionaires and choose to live on minimum wage, while some might choose to live on $50,000 a year and the rest to God. This amount would greatly vary from one person to the next.

How could you decide?

What would be your guidelines?

How big of a house would you have to maintain, how big of car, how many cars, how many vacations , etc...

Now, currently Im honestly living over my budget...but I hope to be able to change that soon. I am going to be praying about having a budget that i am easily capable of reaching. Also, setting guidlines and if God blesses me with more , it will be all his, really.

My guidlines will be something like this:
having a house in a decent school zone
having a newer car (mini van actually)
having a/c in home and car
dishwasher
interent
laptop
washer/dryer in home
have a reasonable amount in savings and retirement plan
health insurance
weekly supply of healthy food

Now, I find my guidlines quite simple......when I compare them to others. I dont need a $500 purse, $100 shoes, $300 sunglasses, expensive vacations, expenisive jewelry, pets treated better than humans , or many other pet peeves that I see in others. : ) ! Yeah, I'm pretty good at judging people.

I also find it simple to live with less when I dont have much. I dont have to make these choices of having a $500 purse or going on an expensive vacation.......... I wonder if I need have these choices if I would be the same way or would be guidlines have to change??

But.........I ask myself this......
Would my sisters in Africa like my guidlines. You know, the ones that dont eat every day. I would be really embarrassing if i had to say..."Sister, these are my guidelines of needs/wants that i have to meet , but everything I have in excess of that I will give you a small percentage so you can feed your children some rice this week"

Come on.....really?

I pray for God to search me, really search me, keep me with a clear head and with a focus on treasures in heaven. I dont want my rewards here on earth. I want to set my self apart fand be different. I want to in what will last. I dont want to be a slave to money. Please help me to not want earthly treasures and to desire my treasures in heaven

Zealous and Convicted about God!

2009-09-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

One of my spiritual goals in honoring a Sabbath day. Its hard for my situation because my job requires that I work weekends and my budget requires that I work 7 days. One commitment I made to honor a Sabbath is to work extra hours in 6 days and take off work one day. Its a small step, but hardly a Sabbath. Especially the amount of stuff that I have to fit in that one day off.

I have another spiritual goal along this same line. My Pastor talks about the importance of spending time alone with God as well as one on one with individuals. I know I need this, but with four kids, by myself, 54 hour work weeks, volunteering at church, volunteering at schools.........where can I fit it in?

I started this week. I committed to spend a min of 2 hours alone with God or a friend every tuesday morning. Today was my first day.

I forced, I mean forced, myself to grab a book, notepad and my bible and sit at a Starbucks for 2 hours and just read, write and pray. It was awesome! .....and as you would guess, I still got the same amount of things done today as if I didnt spend this time with God.

God spoke to me a lot about service today. I have a new favorite word now....It's Zeal.

Zeal
Zeal is birthed from passion.
Servants must be Zealous!!!!
Servants must be Zealous!!!!

Serve with joy! Serve with pleasure! Serve with Dignity!

and another favorite word....Conviction.
Conviction convinces you to do something.
If a situation doesnt move you, then you cant move heaven.

.........and know who you are serving. You are always serving God! No matter how dirty of a job you are doing, you are ultimately truly serving God.

If Im zealous about my God, with a conviction to serve him....how can I not serve anyone without joy and pleasure.......and dignity in the fact that I am serving God?

Julia is a Senior!

2009-08-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

My daughter just started her senoir year at highschool!

Do I feel old?...yeah!

Am I proud?...heck yeah!

Sometimes it feels like just yesterday when she was born...sometimes I cant even remember my life without her.

We've been through a lot together. Poor girl...I've drug her through my life...the good and the bad and the really bad. Yet, somehow she survived! (I know the somehow : ) ) (thank you jesus!)

She is beautiful, smart, has dreams and goals. I know she will succeed at anything she puts her mind to.

I love this girl!

Silver Pines VBS/Block Party 2009

2009-08-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah..it was hot outside, there were no near by restrooms, plenty of ant piles and lots of dirt. But, it was soooooooo......... much fun!

My church did a two day Vbs at an underserved apartment complex that we "adopted". The kids made musical instruments (some were very creative). They were able to use thier instruments during the worship. We gave them a quick, fun message. They played games. And ended with a dance contest.

We followed the VBS with a Block Party. Complete with inflatable water slides and jump houses, hotdogs, chips, soda, cotton candy, face painting and snow cones.

I must admit that I was pretty tired at the end but it was so worth it.

These children had so much fun, the smiles on thier faces will stay with me for a long time.

Besides giving these children joy, love and fun.... I learned something else during this. I learned something about community.

As I looked around that day and saw my church family all serving together, away from church....everyone hot, uncomfortable and tired....yet working together doing thier part...I felt how important is community. This couldn't have happened without the whole team. For example, I could do the arts and crafts, but I dont have a clue about putting on a dance contest. The teenagers manned the cotton candy, but they couldnt grill 150 hot dogs. We really needed everyone, the ones who know the secret tricks to opening the van doors and the ones who know how to put up the tents. And, who but my pastor could drive around on a motor cycle anouncing whats happening or drive around picking up kids in his pick up truck?

I really believe that God designed us to live in community, each of us with our unique gifts to offer. It's a fairly new concept to me...and last week I got a real good feel of it...seeing it in action!

My Perfect Gift

2009-07-25T17:54:00.000-07:00

Amy,
Let me start by saying I love you, thank you, and I'm sorry!!
Coming back to jail is the est thing that ever happened to me.
I don't want to try to explain too much. Dont trust me but trust when I tell you that God is answering all your prayers concerning me.
I thought you might enjoy this book! I did!
God bless you, your brother,
Brian
..............................................
This is the note I recieved Wednesday night at church, in a book, from a guy whom I never met before. This guy came looking for me at church, at the end of the evening. He told me he just got out of jail and that he was in a cell with my brother.
........for those who dont know, my brother is facing life in prison for multiple things related to his ongoing drug addiction..I actually had a big part in putting him back in jail as well..therefore up until wednesday I didnt even think he wanted to speak to me........
So, this guy told me that my brother introduced him to Christ in jail....My brother gave him a book with this note inside to give to me at church.
I cant explain how much joy this gave me. It was a complete surprise, totally unexpected, could never dream of it, awesome timing, just perfect.
Although, my brothers situation has not changed, he still is facing life in prison, I have peace knowing that God has his hand on this. And i have peace knowing that he has peace and hope in God. and Who knows, maybe all of this was just to save the one guy who brought me the book, or maybe there are greater things yet to come.
I'll be waiting "on the edge of my seat" : ) !

One of my favorite things....

2009-07-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

...NAKED BROWN BABIES!

Fun day...Bowling...lots of kids

2009-06-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

I started volunteering at my church, with the childrens ministry. I do a weekly program. We started bringing in children from an apartment complex on the church bus. Its alot of fun. And, it didnt take long to fall in love with these kids.

After we started this, my church "adopted" this apartment complex. I was thrilled. I knew immediatley this is my passion....without a doubt. Im not sure the who,what, where or when yet....I just know Im on board. Im so excited to see what God is gonna do and how he is going to use me.

While Im waiting for a team, meetings, ideas, plans, etc.....I figured I'll just start by getting to know these kids more. I've been meeting their parents and learning their stories.

I have tons of ideas...one i hope for is to do a womens bible study there at the apartments.

So, today me and Renee (thank heavens she volunteered to come with me) took the kids bowling, mcd's and to the park. Everyone had a great day!

Anthony

The whole bunch!

(Renee, Dj, Nathaniel, Anthony, Me, Julia, Keke, Ricky, Joshua

Darius, Aj, Gabriel, Freedom, Noah)

Ke ke

A Date with Jesus

2009-06-24T04:07:00.000-07:00

Can you remember ever going on a date....and coming home in ''dreamland''?
I do...many times. I remember coming home, laying down in my bed and dreaming. Being so happy, so excited, thinking how cute the guy was, how nice, dreaming of my whole future with him.
Not too long ago....offer me the choice of a night out with a bunch of women at a bible study or a hot date.....with no doubt i would choose the date! The bible study with the women just didnt sound that much fun.
Last night i went to my womens bible study (btw..there was no date option). I was tired from work..but still went...mostly because im commited.
..And boi am I so glad I went....it turned out to be so much fun...and a DATE WITH JESUS!
When I came home...I layed down in my bed...and my mind started swirling with thoughts. Thoughts of love....thoughts of my evening with the girls....thoughts of the words of Beth Moore...thoughts of scriptures from the bible...thoughts of hope....thought of patience....thoughts of longing....thoughts of waiting....thoughts of passion.
I feel asleep with all of this and woke up this morning still feeling Jesus!
I feel like last night I had a fabulous night out with Jesus.....a thousand times better than any date I've ever had with a man!

Plan B

2009-06-11T17:07:00.001-07:00

I had a plan to do "Donate your tips" day at my restaurant every other month, to raise money for items and money Uganda.
We did it once and it was a success, but I had no takers when I put up a volunteer list for a second one.
So, today, I was like forget it.
Then I came home and got a letter in the mail from brandi saying how much they were able to accomplish the last trip in uganda because of donations and specifically the expression of joy Joan(my little girl) had on her face when brandi told her that her sponsor made special effort for the children.
Soooo, I couldn't be like forget it......I had to come up with plan B.

This is what I'm going to post for my servers tommorrow:

***********************************************************
DO YOU WANT ME TO DO YOUR SIDEWORK?

You guys know I’m collecting things for Africa. I am going to offer to do your sidework in exchange for donations!

I am collecting: white chalk
Crayons – crayola or rose art
Color pencils – crayola or rose art
Money

If you donate: 3 items listed above (like 3packs of crayons or 1pack chalk and 2 packs color pencils ) or $5 , then I will do your tables or sidework.

If you donate: 2 items above or $3, I will do your extra sidework

If you donate : 1 item above or $2, I will do you silver ware or windows.

I will give you coupons for each donation. I will accept donations and give coupons thru June , so hurry up!

You can donate and collect as many coupons as you like, I will keep honoring them thru July.

The only catch is you must give me the coupons at the beginning of your shift (over night people – I will take one persons coupons only when I arrive in the morning )

And I can only take a few coupons each day.

I hope you guys have fun and participate….its really for a good cause! All the money I collect will go towards a good quality sports ball set for the school at Rapha orphanage in Uganda, buying more of the supplys listed above, and of course food........and you know its gonna be fun watching me work so hard!

Amy
**************************************************************************

I pray that it works! I'll post an update at the end of the month. Sidework is close to torture so I'm sure they will take advantage of this.

Today I.....

2009-06-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

Did all my regular mom stuff (way too many things to even think about listing).............and I also :

Made 50 cupcakes......with a baby involved.....and a 6 year old '''helper'''.....and no one got hurt!

................And me and my daughter went to get tatoos *************

Julia's

Mine

......And I didn't forget to Feed the Forgotten!

2009-06-09T08:14:00.001-07:00

Yes! I am very pleased wth my phone.
I have a slideout keyboard, i can yahoo,twitter,and blogspot.
It was a free upgrade and im not paying extra a month.

2009-06-09T08:11:00.001-07:00

Seeing if i can do posts from my phone

Mommy and me days

2009-06-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

About two times a year, I give my children a special day with just me. They can basically choose what we are going to do that day. We plan it out about a month ahead, so they have plenty of time to get really excited.

Aj chose Holy Land. We went on my Birthday, so I got in free and it was only $15 for him (great deal!). We both had never been there before so we had a lot of fun!
His main goal for the day was to get a mountain dew and an ice cream....mission accomplished!

Me and Darius went to Aquatica. We have passes and been before, but I never can ride the rides with him because I always have the little ones. So, his main goal for the day was for me to ride all the rides with him................mission accomplished! We rode each ride twice, there were no lines. and no lines is not always a good thing when you are out of shape and climbing about 2000 stairs for each ride. I couldnt even feel my legs anymore. But we had a lot of fun.

Me and Julia are going next week for our day. We are going to donate blood and then get tatoos. Sounds crazy, I know.

I lost my best friend : (( !

2009-05-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I took one of my best friends , Tatiana, and her husband, and baby Joshua in her belly, to the airport. They moved to Brazil .........permenantly. Im really, really, really gonna miss her. Really.

We've worked together for 6 years. She was a huge, huge impact on my journey to accept Christ. Everymorning , it was like we had our own bible study. I'm going to miss that terribly. We talked about everything and anything.

Worst of all, I'm going to miss Joshua being born : ( ! After we prayed for years for her to get pregnant.

We have internet and stuff, but it wont be the same.

Im really going to miss this girl!

They wont be able to return to the U.S. to visit any time in the near future. So, Im trying to think, I have to go visit her one day , but how? I've barely left Orlando in my life, and that was only to go to Daytona.

God has a plan....this I'm sure.

Its hard to explain, but this is such a new experience for me. In my past, I didnt have real relationships with people. I knew people and had friends, but it was different. I guess I didnt let people get too close. Even family. I've had plenty of people in my life move away, but in the past I was like whatever. Now, because God changed my heart I know, its different. I feel sad. This is hard for me to put in words for some reason.

I mean....I cried all night because I'm really going to miss this girl. And the fact that I cried all night is such an answer to personel prayer. A few years ago, actually a month ago, I wouldn't have cried. I couldnt cry. And a constent prayer for me has been for God to soften my heart.. and he did!

....and I really love my dear friend Tatiana, and I'm going to miss her soooooo..... much!

Praise God! ...for my health....

2009-05-22T04:10:00.000-07:00

I Just want to Praise God for my health!
I am just getting over a flu that I suffered with this week. While I had this flu, my baby was teething and had a stomach virus. (meaning not stop crying and getting puked on). This stomach virus he gave to Darius. (the dramatic). (maeaning a lot of moaning and complaining). Then was passed to Aj. This virus bypassed my teenage daughter. It was probably scared of her because she had PMS.
I just thank God that my family is normally healthy....its not fun being sick. And i know alot of people suffering from health problems daily. I honor and admire those that still press on and serve God !

Angry at God

2009-04-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

I have heard a lot of people say testimonies about being angry at God at certain points in thier lives. I really couldn't understand that. I mean it never had happened to me, and I couldnt imagine a situation that I could possibly ever be angry or mad at God.
that is until a few days ago.........
..............Satan found my breaking point.
This might sound stupid, but my breaking point was not having A/C in my car.
For some strange reason, I have never had a summer with A/C. I mean never! I have had tons of different cars and none with A/C. Usually they had some mystery problem that just cant be fixed, like now.
So I said "why, God? Why cant I have ?>!?!!!;.! A/C! Why? I was really mad. I cried, for the first time in many many years. (actually, im glad i cried because i though that i was unable to cry )
So that open the door for me to be mad at God about something else........................ See, I'm never at rest in my life. My mind is constantly thinking what I can do to serve God. Its like I have no choice but to do more and more. This is a good thing I know, but satan was twisting it. I was asking God, why?
why cant I just relax like other christians I know, just going to church on sundays
why do have to give tythes no matter if I can "afford" it or not
why do i feel like im responsible to volunteer everywhere
why cant i just say "thats too bad", and walk away
leading to ......
why do i have to do all this in a car with no air
and a old house in pine hills
with every thing i own used
and working at stupid ihop 40 plus hours a week
never having weekends off
leading to .....
why cant i have a great house i can have parties in
or have guests stay at
and have nice kids for mine to play with
and a decent school for them to go to
or a mom that helps with my kids

Let me tell I am one that never complains. Most of my struggles I blame on my bad choices and the rest is "just life". But satan got all this out of me, just through the car a/c.

.....................But God did answer my Whys! He clearly told me that he wants me to joyfully serve him with what I have and where i am. and that means even in a car with four kids and no a/c and a window that wont roll down.

So I called satan at his game. Im not looking forward to a hot summer, but i know with all my heart that I am in a better situation that many ( like my sisters in Africa and other countries of this world). And I know Im better off than those who dont know jesus! And I am so so so thankful that God puts thats fire in me to serve and that he gives me a brain with creative ideas. I am sorry for the thoughts I allowed satan to put in my head, but am grateful I reconized them quickly!

My 1st ever "donate your tips" day at IHOP

2009-04-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

Today me and my co-workers had a little fundraiser. We collected all of our tips together and are donating them. We are giving the money for Brandi to use when she goes to Uganda this month. My church has sponsored an orphanage, Raffa, in Uganda. The children at Raffa and throughout Uganda are in need of much. This trip I believe the focus is pencils, sharpeners, toothbrushes, toothpaste, underwear and of course food.

Everyone had a good time today raising the money, my co-workers, the customers and myself. Im glad it went well, I am planning to do this on a regular monthly or bi-monthly basis.

Today we raised a total of $317

Erik and Tatiana

Me, Richardson and Tatiana

Kid #4 might become #1 : ) !

2009-04-14T16:28:00.001-07:00

Nicolas, right after dumping the dogs food for the fourth time today, walked right over a grabbed the broom and dust pan. So cute! He needs a little practice, but this could turn into a good thing!

~I love my kids~

2009-04-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

I am so so grateful that my boys are growing up knowing and loving jesus! Today my 6 year old woke up and the first thing he said was "its friday, the day jesus died for our sins. only three more days until god brings him back to life". For me, this is just so good.
Being a Christian for only a few years now, Im daily faced with what used to be and what is now. Daily, sometimes hourly, the holy spirit is making changes in my life. My daughter, 17, she sees the changes, she does........but i raised her as an atheist. She will come to jesus, i know she will with all my heart. I just dont know how hard or long her journey will be.
But my boys, they just know jesus. They dont know the before and after, they just know the after. They dont know what used to be and what is now, they just know the now. They dont know the mom I used to be, they just know the mom i am now.
The most amazing to me is when i think, how did this happen? How did we make it? When I look back at the beginning of my journey to now........god did so much.
And now when I look at my kids, and see the holy spirit in them, I can really accept how much my life has changed. They make it real!

Face painting blog!

2009-04-05T16:47:00.001-07:00

Since I have sooooooooooo.........much spare time (jk) , I decided to make another blog. Its going to be for my face paintings. I only just started it, but I'm going to post all my designs. Hopefully I meet other face painters. Also, I want to teach people if they are interested. Eventually I'll put up step by step pics and info on whats needed to start and stuff. SO EXCITED!

............or not!

2009-04-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

My last post was titled "I shall blog". That looks pretty ridiculous now, considering that was over a montha ago. Well, one day I shall blog..............a lot.........when I have more time!

I Shall Blog..............

2009-02-21T11:17:00.000-08:00

.............about God's faithfulness to me. ( Brandi gave me this reminder)
Thinking back this last month or so, I can clearly remember at least three times almost jumping out of my skin over something so great that God did.
One thing was how God clearly, clearly spoke to me about my working situation. One of my biggest back and forth struggles is deciding how many hours to work a week. I feel like I need to work 7 days a week to pay my bills, but I also feel that I should work just 5 and put more reliance on God. I decided a year ago to work just five days a week, but every time things look a liitle bad I dont wait for God I just work extra, taking time away from my kids and God. Well, a few weeks ago, during a 7 day work week , I paid attention to something. See, most of my money comes from tips. I noticed that I was getting really lousy tips that week, and when I really really thought about the weeks that I work 5 days , i think I made more money. So at that moment I said to me, that I am just going to work 5 days , no matter what, unless things get so low I cant pay my electric bill. Less than a minute after my decision, I got a $20 dollar tip from 2 people, and $10 tip from one girl. The rest of the day was good, and I made more that one day than 3 days previous together.
Another thing that happened was my brother going to church, one his own accord. I'm getting phone call after phone call from him about going more often. This has been a huge prayer for me.
Another, I was chosen for the z88.3 single mom, day of pampering. ((special thanks to Jaime, who wrote a beautiful email nominating me and who taught me how to link ( if it worked this time)). I really felt like God did that for me. It was so great. My kids had a great time. And I got breakfast, a haircut, a mini facial, a massage, health screening , lunch and my car washed.
And I just remembered another...... a few years ago God called me to claim my tips to IRS. Sounds good, but it was a huge leap of faith for me because not only would it greatly effect my income, but also disqualify me for government benefits. At the same time he called me to tythe properly and give beyond that. Well, I survived. My financial situation is the same as before, God provided so much for me. And the mind blowing moment for me was when we recieved our tax statement from church. The amount that I gave last year was more than I tax money I was saving being dishonest.
One more.........during this time that i took this financial leap of faith. I prayed to God , to take care of things for me. I prayed to be a father to my kids, and to be a husband to me. I specifically prayed for him to take care of car repairs (because its not in my budget and I hate taking my car to get fixed more than anything ). Well, I realized just yesterday, that my car has not broke down or needed a repair since then. my car is a 1995 jeep, with more than 200,000 miles that used to break down monthly.

To me these are testimonies of God's faithfulness to me. To some people it might sound like everyday stuff. But, the most amazing and unshakable part is the feeling i had at these moments. I really jumped up and down, knowing with all my heart it was God. With such excitement, I knew.
But very quickly I forgot, and went on. And, thats what I dont want to do. I want to remember these moments and the unshakable feelings behind them!

2009-01-29T03:00:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, at church, we had a guest worship leader. Jon Baur. At the end of service, he had CD's for sale. I didn't buy one, I couldn't afford it. He also challenge everyone, to choose a card of a child to sponsor for $36 something dollars a month. I didn't even look, definetly couldnt afford that.

Now, this same month, let me tell you some things that I could afford:

an $85 purse
a $22 matching wallet
$187 of clothes for me (on sale)
$120 of clothes for my kids (on sale)
about $100 + of eating out
about $25 + of dollars here and dollars there
..........................and thats just off the top of my head.

..............it just doesn't make any sense.

answered prayer

2009-01-28T07:19:00.000-08:00

A few blogs ago, I prayed about being off work sundays. I've been praying for that continously. God answered, by starting a childrens service during the saturday night worship. I still have to leave my kids on sundays. But I found it easy to take them to grampas sometimes, or uncles, or a friend, or get off once in a while.
So, that being a major concern in my life has diminished quite a bit. I feel that God did answer this prayer. In a way I didnt expect (as usual). Actually, I feel that this prayer will be answered in full in time, he just made things alot easier until it happens.

PS - I learned how to make a link. Click here to see who taught me.

Z 88.3 contest

2009-01-26T14:26:00.000-08:00

If anyone knows any single moms (hint, hint). Z88.3 is choosing 100 women for a day of pampering w/childcare included. You just have to go to thier website Zradio.com and click on "a single moment" and tell them about the single mom that you know. (if i knew how i would have made one of those cool "click here and here links" like everyone else does)

Lake Eola

2009-01-23T18:05:00.000-08:00

On Monday, we spent the afternoon at Lake Eola. Me and my boys, Nathaniel, and Brandi and her kids. Everyone had a good time. So much fun with the swans and birds.

The swans were very friendly. They would
eat right from your hand. ... and bite your
finger too.

Davis was a little nervous at first, but he
soon joined in.

Darius and Nathaniel got to hold a snake that

a man brought. (fun - i guess? )

Ooopps!....someone got pooped on!

Live Bait!

I think this one wants to be a model!

picture perfect

Gracie

Nicolas

What do these women have in common?

2008-11-27T06:09:00.000-08:00

Following are the stories of two women. Two very contrasting stories, but they share something in common. Can you find it?

Women #1 - Married. 26. Pregnant , and 6 year old daughter from prevoius marriage. Abusive and drug addicted husband. Sleeps at night with pillows covering her head and stomach because she randomly gets kicked or punched in the middle of the night. Spends evenings playing games with daughter while husband and his friends are in kitchen cooking crack , doing cocaine, and cutting counterfiet money. Scared always of the police, because drugs are in car and home. Having to move every three months because of evictions. Alienated from all friends and family. Her and daughter are sometimes held by gunpoint, in a closet, for days at a time by husband who is hallucinating. Always, she has to work with bruised and black eyes, and give different lies about what happened. Husband sleeps with other women, basically in front of her. Electricity gets turned off often. Literally, no money for food sometimes. Familar with bondsmen and the jail system, frequently bonding husband and friends out of jail. Often called names by and beat by husband, and humilated in front of people. Always scared, worried, trying to escape, and never at peace or had any hope. Lives her life in the dark.

Woman #2 - Single mom of 4 children. 36. Sleeps peacefully at night. No one abusises her. Spends evenings with children in a safe and loving home. The only thing scary about police is that she might get a speeding ticket. Has been in her home for 7 years. Has close relations with her family. Has numerous friends in her life. Never has a bruise or broken bone thats caused from another or for a reason she has to lie about. Always has the money and resources to pay her bills. Her family never goes hungry. She's not involved with people that need to be bonded out of jail on a regular basis. She is never scared. Has no need to worry. Never has the feeling of fleeing for her life. Always has peace and she always has some hope. Her life is lived in the light.

Now what do these women have in common?
..............................Its the same woman, 10 years apart.

... On this Thanksgiving day I praise God for how he changed my life. Completely. He gave me a complete new life. In every aspect. I am thankful my children are safe and they know jesus. I am thankful my children dont live in fear and abuse. I am thankful for my friends and family and the amazing work God has done in my life.

dare to prayer

2008-11-08T17:04:00.000-08:00

I notice sometimes that I dont pray for something because it looks impossible for God to answer it. Even though I know that nothing is impossible for God.
Tonight at church, I was reflecting on many of my prayers that have been answered. And the answered prayers of other that I've witnessed. Some seemed completely impossible to have ever happened.

So I decided to ask for my hearts desire. I look at my life and I try not to complain much. I try to find the joy in what I have and be grateful. I know I am blessed. One thing that is not right in my life in working on sundays. I dont mind for myself, especially because I can attend church on Saturday evenings. Its because of my kids. I pay an incredible amount of extra daycare , just for this day for the baby. And my two boys are just home, alone, agrueing with each other, just waiting for me to come home. The whole day, my kids are on my mind and I sometimes spend more in daycare than I make. With my job, Sundays are mandatory.

In my small mind - there is no possible way I can have sundays off of work. For the past 20 I have worked and it just looks impossible. I didnt even want to pray about because I cant see a way that God can fix it.

Well, I'm giving it to God now. I've seen him do miracles, I've seen him be creative, and I've seen him answer impossible prayers. I trust that he will take care of this. I'm going to live like working Sundays is finally almost over. I believe today, God will put his plan in action.

I cant wait to blog about how he answered this prayer!

Update from Nicolas...............

2008-11-03T11:45:00.001-08:00

I just wanted everyone to know that my life has improved since my last blog. I have a highchair now. I am happy. I am fully able to eat what I want and spit the rest on my mom or throw it on the floor. I learned a new game too. I throw something down and someone always picks it up and gives it back to me to do again. It's so much fun. Life is Good!----Nicolas.

God does have a sense of humor........

2008-11-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

I have been praying about my nieghbors for a while. A few years. I live in a pretty rough nieghborhood and dont have any communication with any of my direct nieghbors at all. Everyone just keeps to themselves. I know I have a huge opportunity for ministry here, but its just very akward.
One family in particular, I missed a big chance to get to know. About four years ago, when I was married, my husband threatened the life out of these people because some guys were flirting with me. The man and women or anyone else visiting the house never spoke to me again.
Well about 8 months ago, the man from the house, came over and offered me a peace offering. A plate of Lasagna. He caught me at a wierd moment , freaked me out a little, and my only response was that sorry I dont like Lasagna.
I have felt so bad about that and prayed for another opportunity.

Well, I got what I prayed for and just what I deserve too. The man and womens niece and her husband and child moved in. Turns out the husband befriended my brother in prison , later finding out that he is our cousin. Long story short, this family is related to me my marriage. Now, we are friends.
The funny part is the little boy, Jason. Jason is 8 years old. He decided that I am his Auntie. He is a carbon copy of Steve Erkel ! He has informed me that he will probably come over everyday. He loves our house. He also wants to eat dinner with us everyday. And go everywhere with us. So now I have Jason to add to my list of 4 kids and Nathaniel. (if you dont know Nathaniel, he showed up at my house last year and has been around daily since.)

God has a funny way of answering prayers and kind of throwing something right in your face.

Pastor John recently talked about "intrusions" . This is one for sure. But the opportunity is definetly there for me now. In my face! Now I have to my part.

blog interruption from nicolas

2008-09-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

EXCUSE ME .......... Has anyone seen Ms. Brandi? If you see her could you please tell her that I am looking for her, I heard that she hangs around the blog world. Just look how my mom is feeding me. I know I look cute and happy but I'm not and she promised me a highchair. I understand that she's a busy mom and shes very concerned with world hunger and everything. I really dont want to bother her, but I just need a little of her attention.

Thanks for your help - Nicolas.

Kids Lake - august project

2008-08-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

My kids and some kids from the neighborhood raised money for Kids lake yesterday. I was there first time - they did a carwash/kool-aid stand/candysale/popsicle sale. They had such a good time and were so proud to raise $42!

2008-08-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about how, as a new christian, sins have been idenitfied and taken out of my life.

In the beginning, I saw this huge list in front of my face. HUGE! And I thought IMPOSSIBLE.

I started with the easiest things first. Turned out some of what I thought was the hardest, turned out to be the easiest. It was a heavy wieght on me. The list was so long and some things I felt like I just couldnt change. Many times I wanted to just say forget it, if I have to do all this just forget it. Its too much.

Then I realized that I couldn't change anything on my own. Only God can! - and he changes so easily. All I had do was just want it and ask him. After I realized this I went from changing about 2 sins a year (with pain and struggle) to 2 or more a month (with ease and fun).

Some things I had to learn the hard way. The very hard way! Like not having sex outside of marriage. I really didn't want to give that one to God! Its seemed unrealistic and impossible. When faced with that one I rebelled, I was on the line of giving up to sin. Actually, I crossed the line and almost gave up God. The consequences of that were huge, but not as huge as they could have been. Thank God, he dispilined me in just the right way to make me return to him with lesson learned.

Back to topic... origanally I thought I just had to get through this list of sins and I'll be done. Not true, at all. My origanal list is complete, but my list is still big, even bigger. It just keeps replenishing itself. I hope it never stops growing - if it does that means I will to.

I need ideas

2008-08-15T14:45:00.001-07:00

I was reading some parenting tips sent home with my children from school yesterday. The booklet reccommended having your kids start a collection of some sort.
I never did this with my kids. Its such a good idea. It gives them something interesting to say about themselves when meeting new people. and its just fun. My grandma used to do this with me a lot.
I cant think of anything good for them. (boys - 5 and 10 ).
I know theres stamps, rocks, postcards, stickers............... but I want something really fun.
I already asked Mr. Google for some help, but he gave me nothing.
I need some ideas!

Fishing Poles

2008-07-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

My son Darius has a friend who stays with us a lot, since the beginning of summer. I know his home situation is not good. The other night I saw jsut how bad it really was. He has five siblings, ages 2 - 14. The mom is only 26. They live in a dangerous apartment complex, the mom hangs outside smoking pot. The apartment is completely filthy, with cigarette butts everywhere. Five kids in one room with not even one piece of furniture.
My initial response was to help them. Yesterday, I woke up with the desire to buy all of their school clothes and supplies and my mind was just whirling with what I needed to do for these kids. I quickly emailed some friend to see if they wanted to help.
I figured out that I was flying in the completly wrong direction. It was soon pointed out that my ideas were not the best. My eyes were opened to the fact that the mom has money for pot, for hair and nails, and for cigarettes. Also, the fact that I should probably call DCF.
I felt terrible all day. Really bad. I really felt like I had to do something, but couldn't pinpoint my place in this situation. I prayed about it. I went to sleep. And I woke up this morning still feeling terrible. I didnt even wont to get out of bed. This was so so heavy on my shoulders.
I did go to work and started talking about this with my co-workers. And thats when I got my answer...............
.........................Amy, you cant give someone a fish, you have to give the a fishing pole.

It makes so much sense to me! And its like a missing piece of the puzzle of what God has been doing in my life.
I've been trying to find my place in ministry and I've been having a hard time to narrow it down.

Now, I'm sure it has something to do with fishing poles. Sounds odd, I have so much resources at my hands. I have been through many things in my life and have overcame much. I can direct a single mom to any direction she wants to go - for sure.

I'm thinking I have many fishing poles to offer people, many fishing poles, all colors, all shapes, and any size that they want.

For now I will offer a fishing pole to this mom. Tommorrow, I will give her a print out of every school supply event that I can find. So much easier than buying 5 kids school supplies and clothes. And it feels like what God wants me to do. Maybe she will use the fishing pole to fish and ask for more or maybe it will be just a planted seed or maybe she will throw it in the garbage. Thats up to God!!!

My newest skill

2008-07-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

HAIR EXTENSIONS!

Not just any kind of hair extensions either. Sewn in hair extensions, they last for a couple weeks.

They can be washed and styled and reused, because its human hair.

I haven't figured out how they get so much human hair???? I know some people sell there hair, but I dont think that many people do it?

My first model..........My daughter, Julia. She loves it! Too bad you have to turn your head sideways to see my picture, I don't have any idea how to rotate it.

Find your gift and give it away!

2008-07-21T14:43:00.001-07:00

I read this while I was stalking peoples blogs.
It inspired me - the give it away part.
I have always had a passion for trying to hustle money. Everything I see, I want to do, and I do it. For example: I see really neat hair braiding designs, so I learn to do it.
I see balloon animals, I learn it.
Face painting, hair wraps.
Dreadlocks, perms, straightners, highlights.
I see a cute baby blanket, so I learn to crochet.
Cute jewelry, I learn to make it.
Acrylic nails and nail art.
From Macrome anklets to anime manga costumes.
and the most addicting is when I see things on sale, I think "I can sell it on ebay!"

..and thats just a sample of things from the past couple of years.

The motivation behing all of these ventures is money. Thats the problem. So, since I turned my life towards God, I have been struggling with this issue.
Because, even though these ventures are money motivated, I never really make any money. I put all my energy in these things, I lose time with my kids and I lose time with God.

When I read this " find your gift and give it away", I realized that I'm not giving it away. I'm trying to sell it. I believe God has gifted me with this, but I was letting Satan use my gift.

Now, I've commited to God that I wont let Satan use my gifts anymore. I will give them to God to use. No matter what!

The first thing I started with is the ebay, because its already in motion. Every penny I profit from ebay I will give away, even if I make a million! And from this point I will see how God can use my gifts.

Today I........................

2008-07-18T12:38:00.001-07:00

................ woke up at 5:30
quickly read my bible and prayed and sort of stretched
brushed my teeth and washed my face
let the dog out
let the dog in
gave dog her eye medicine
gave aj his medicine
cleaned up the house a little
gave the baby a bottle
as I was juggling the baby around.........
packed three kids lunches for the day
packed myself up for the day
woke up three kids and made sure they got ready
fixed breakfast for two kids
dressed myself
dressed the baby
got everyone out of the house by 700

then I .....................
dropped to kids off at one location
dropped another kid off at another location
dropped the baby off at another location and picked up my friend to give her a ride to work with me

ALL OF THIS JUST TO GET TO WORK BY 800

After work at 4:00 I ......................
picked up the baby
picked up another kid
and then picked up two more kids

I came home and while juggling the baby I ......................
fixed dinner
and started blogging
and the day is not even close to being finished yet. And then I have to wake up and do it all over again, if not more.

I dont think this is at all what God has planned for me. It is very tiring! But it's the best plan that I can come up with on my own. Now I'm praying for GOD to give me a better plan, a plan that glorifys HIM!

If he don't its okay. I'll keep doing what I'm doing.
Despite the craziness - I'm very blessed and grateful for what I have. And I know, compared to a lot of people in this world, I am living like a queen!

Sales Calls

2008-07-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

I decided this week to be nice to the people who call my house.
I admit I have always been mean to them. At my nicest, I would just hang up. Even though I did this job of telemarketing once , I should sympathise with them. It's just so hard because they are soooo annoying. But I decided to just suck it up and be nice.

So, the first call I accepted wanted me to do a survey online. I agreed, I didn't even have to buy anything or sell anything. It took me about 10 minutes, and guess what........ they sent me ten bucks in the mail.

The second phone call I nicely accepted was from the state troopers office. They wanted a donation --- I gave the ten bucks.

It's funny, its such a little thing. I'll keep being nice to the callers, it makes a big difference. My kids took notice right away. They think its wierd that I'm answering the phone and talking to the people. And the people calling are probably very happy that I am not hanging up on them.

Who knows - maybe I'll get another $10.

July - blessings

2008-07-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

Again, God provided in many ways for me.
So many creative ways:

This past month I recieved ten dollars in the mail just for doing a 10 minute survey. It was the first phone call I took after I made the decision to be nice to telemarketers.

I recieved an exersaucer for my little one for FREE! About a $50 or more savings.

I recieved hand me down clothing for my 5 year old in his next sizes from three different people. I wont have to purchase him any clothing for the next couple of years. Big savings!!!

Did I mention that I love love love "hand me downs".

I worked out a "barter" with someone. A friend at work. I braid his hair and he takes care of my yardwork. Big relief!

My porch light broke, the maintence guy at my job came over a replaced it for FREE!

NO Car or home repairs or any extra expenses.

Two field trips got canceled at the boys and girls club. I usually pay for Darius and his friend Nathaniel , they were a little dissappointed but it saved me $100!

$25 free - for opening a higher interest bearing savings account.

2 seaworld tickets. (me and my kids have passes, but this was a blessing because we were able to bring my sons friend,Nathaniel, with us.)

Help with Darius and AJ school supplies from a few friends ( big savings! )

And, again, probably a lot of unnoticed blessings, as well.

God's provisions

2008-07-07T02:44:00.000-07:00

A little more than a year ago I made some financial decisions that were hard but right.
More than half of my income comes from tips. I never claimed my tips to the IRS. Before I was a Christian I found no need too. I payed less in taxes, recieved a bigger tax return, and I qualified for benefits like food stamps and free child care and medicaid.
The Holy Spirit was pushing me to be honest with my finances. I had to trust God. I didnt have extra money as it was and I would be giving up about 1000.00 a month more a month just by claiming my tips. Also I was scared I would lose medicaid and I was pregnant. Then someone said to me " Amy, God is so much bigger than medicaid! " .
DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I had faith and did it.
Since, I am still surviving. Actually, I am better off financially than before. God provides things in such creative ways. He didn't increase my income, but he provided the things I needed.
Just in the past month he provided household furniture and needed items at more than a 1200.00 savings, he provided my sons school uniforms at about a 400.00 savings, a 42.00 saving on a pair nike uniform shoes, no car repairs or home repairs, and showed me a few cut back in my budget ( about 100 per month ). There is probably more that I didnt' take notice of or forgot already.
Oh yeah, I only work 40 hours a week now instead of 60.
Before I gave up all that "extra" income I only trusted in myself to make ends meet. I always worked hard and harder and harder and worried like crazy. After I gave in to God, I had no choice but to trust in God, because it was not even possible for me to do it on my own.
Now, I see how easy God makes things if you just give up trying to do it the hard way. I dont have to work half as much and I dont have to worry at all!

The Sign of Jonah

2008-07-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

I read this morning, Matthew 12:43 - 45.
When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.

I imagine the there is an evil spirit lurking around waiting for me to invite him to my clean house. And he has seven friends to bring with him.
If I let him in, how terrible would my life be.
I pray that no temptation would ever come to me great enough to choose to walk away from God and invite that spirit into my house. I'm terrified at just the thought of the suffering that I would endure.

Keeping my guard up against Satan

2008-06-30T02:52:00.000-07:00

One thing I've learned (the hard way), is that I alway have to keep my guard up against Satan. There is a real spiritual battle going on. I have to remember he's always trying to get in, he never stops. If he finds one little crack, its access for him.

When I became a Christian I didn't realize this at first. I thought I was following God, end of story. I didn't have my guard up, so he came in like a hurricane. I backslid, big time.

I was seperated from God for a couple months. It seems like it was years. I went back to a few old habbits. Completeley questioned every Godly thing in my life. I was completely misserable. During this short time, I became pregnant from a married man. Because of this embarrasement I almost (very almost ) turned from God completely.

For one thing I felt like I ruined my salvation. I felt forgiven for my past sins, but not this one because I knew him now. Secondly, I wasn't sure if I was not going to contunie a relationship with this man. Basically, I had to choose God or this man.

Thank God, that i chose God.

After I decided to choose God, I was still left with the fact that I'm pregnant ( with my fourth child and no husband ).

So, I start thinking of what to do. ( I haven't learned at this point to ask God to help, I thought it was only on my shoulders, which made it even harder ).

Well, abortion crossed my mind. I came very close. No one would have had to know about my sin. I wouldn't be embarressed at all. That's what Satan wanted me to do! Thank God, I didn't do it.

So, I almost left my church. I thought I could just go to a new church, no one would really know my story and I wouldn't be embarrased. Satan would have been satisfied with that. Thank God, I didn't do that.

The only thing I could do is face the music. I am so glad that I made that choice and I am even more glad that I am through that storm. I think it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life ( and my life hasn't been easy ).

Even though it was so hard, I think I grew so much with God. I learned a lot.

I learned humility. I had to be completely ashamed and embarrassed. I know what people thought of me and some still do. But, I knew God had forgiven me so I had to just walk with that.
I learned to be humble. I had to accept help from others and ask for help.
I learned the love of the body of my church. So many people gave help to me and showed me love straight from thier hearts.
I learned Gods forgiveness and grace and mercy.
I saw God's miracles and answered prayers.

I came out of this much stronger in my faith, more at home in my church family, and more aware of Satans tricks.

I am so in love with Jesus right now!
Satan is no match for him at all! But, I know I have to always keep my guarded, with no cracks for him to enter.

Back to Blogging!

2008-06-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Recently I deleted my myspace, my facebook, my orkut and my blogspot.
Being a single mom with four kids doesn't leave me much free time. I was finding myself using that time on the computer. Instead, I should have been spending time with God ( and my kids ).
Well, I'm glad about my decision for all of it except for blogspot. I really enjoy writing. It also provides me with the chance to share my walk with jesus, to acknowledge Gods blessings and answered prayers, and to record these things so they wont be forgotten. It's a way for me to see how God works in my life.
Also, I want to take notice of opportunies that God gives me, like people he puts in my path everyday.
I made a commitment to spend time with God every morning. I want to give him time before anyone or anything else.
Each day I will check myself : If I dont have time to give to God, then I wont allow myself time on the computer to blog. Hopefully, I'll be blogging everyday!

MY DAILY WALK....as a single mom

$$$$ PRICELESS $$$$

Just a Day

Mothers Day 2011

Broken is Beautiful

Wrestling with Holy Spirit is exhausting!

I choose you, God!

Starting With......

One Year Later

Strengthening My Foundation...Chapter 1

Strengthening My Foundation...my New Year's resolution

Strengthening My Foundation...my New Year's resolution

Fringe benefits of giving

What are your guidlines?

Zealous and Convicted about God!

Julia is a Senior!

Silver Pines VBS/Block Party 2009

My Perfect Gift

One of my favorite things....

Fun day...Bowling...lots of kids

A Date with Jesus

Plan B

Today I.....

Mommy and me days

I lost my best friend : (( !

Praise God! ...for my health....

Angry at God

My 1st ever "donate your tips" day at IHOP

Kid #4 might become #1 : ) !

~~~I love my kids~~~

Face painting blog!

............or not!

I Shall Blog..............

answered prayer

Z 88.3 contest

Lake Eola

What do these women have in common?

dare to prayer

Update from Nicolas...............

God does have a sense of humor........

blog interruption from nicolas

Kids Lake - august project

I need ideas

Fishing Poles

My newest skill

Find your gift and give it away!

Today I........................

Sales Calls

July - blessings

God's provisions

The Sign of Jonah

Keeping my guard up against Satan

Back to Blogging!

~I love my kids~